But you know friends; I’m not here just to jerk off “Bob.”
We at the A.o.t.F.C. may find wisdom within “Bob’s” word – but it’s in Connie’s bosom where we find our comfort.
For it was Connie who gives nuns the ‘hell’ in their habits and the ‘cream’ in their convent!
It is within the creamy thighs of Connie where we contemplate the lustful mysteries – and it is within the Pheomelanin rich Veneris Flambé where we find our euphoric divinity.
It’s not called the Assembly of the Flaming Carpet for nothin’, folks.
Now, although Connie has always cum in many different shapes and sizes, and we take great pleasure in all of these – there is one form of Connie’s succulent essence that the A.o.t.F.C. holds Divine.
SCIENTIFC FACT – Across the planet, that the gorgeous genetic disposition for the creation of natural redheads only exists in less than FOUR PERCENT (4%) of the global population.
Now there are some out there who have actually made the prediction that within just a few generations – the trait may disappear completely from the gene pool.
Even if this just speculation, the fact is: true redheads are unique – and unique is always valuable.
It is this reason we at the A.o.t.F.C. dedicated not only to Slack, but we love to play with fire.
Members of the A.o.t.F.C. make it their sworn duty of hold in the highest regards those ÜberFemms of the sacred Veneris Flambé.
“Fire Fuzz,” “Red Hot Hoohah,” “Flame Broiled Furburger,” Yes, friends – I speak of that exquisite Redheaded Connie.
The passion of the Redhead Connie – the rage of the Redhead Connie – the inspiration of the Redhead Connie, shall drive even the most masculine to their knees crying for their mamma!
Along with the holy Prescriptures of J.R. ”Bob” Dobbs, the A.o.t.F.C. keeps a writ of piquant pooder known throughout galaxy known as the sacred Onomasticon of Veneris Flambé.
Now, there are some provisos, three stipulations for making the list:
A) They MUST be female – Yes, Eric Stoltz is a ginger as they come, but swingin’ dicks can’t qualify…
B) They MUST be a real person – sure, Wilma Flintstone is a hot little number – but ink & paint can’t qualify.
C) The carpet MUST match the drapes – Lucille Ball may be known as “that Wacky Redhead”—but a phony fire can’t qualify!
Among these many names of luscious crimson and ginger are Marg Helgenberger, Bryce Dallas Howard, Gillian Anderson, Julianne Moore, Nikki Cox, Laura Prepon, Amy Yasbeck and Lily Cole to name a few.
And let us not forget to mention two of our most exquisite examples of this rare and most delicious of genetic attributes – our very own Rev. Susie the Floozy and Rev. Zoot!
So – if you are an astute Subgenius whose Slackful fetish is the euphoric admiration of the Pheomelanin rich Connie –
Then the Assembly of the Flaming Carpet may be right for you –
Side effects include: High blood pressure, profuse sweating, speaking in tongues, shortness of breath, swelling of the genital region, explosive discharge of seminal fluid, feelings of mild to intense ecstasy, dependency, heart attack and gleeful shouting.
Please consult your Dokktor to find out if the A.o.t.F.C. is right for you.